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I would like to make t-shirts this year for christmas and give them to people who bug me, as a public service announcement to others. They would say "If I solve the problem of whatever it is that you are talking about can we talk about me?" The problem with this idea of course is that I might get given one.
abilouise: (stretch)
Is it right to be embarrassed when a friend gets off the phone with you because people trying to answer their craigslist personals ads for the evening are getting shunted to voicemail? I guess it WAS an almost-3-hour conversation...
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But I think I really might like this website and their cute clothes. I'm in that annoying range of size where the plus size stuff is way too big but the normal-size stuff doesn't accomodate my boobs or else it's cut in a way that looks cute on a size 6 but absurd on me. Anyway, I'm trying to figure out if I'm their size 14/16 or if that is beyond me, in which case I will cry.

NOTE: I do not think I'm fat nor do I say I think I'm fat anywhere in this entry.
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You scored as Mo. You are Mo, a guilt-ridden, kindhearted liberal who doesn't relax enough. You are ordered to buy a pint of non-organic, dairy ice cream and watch Comedy Central for a week. PBS will still be there when you get back.


Which Dyke to Watch Out For Are You?
created with QuizFarm.com</table>
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I haven't posted in a long time, because there is and isn't a lot that I have to say. Life has been interesting -- way more social the past month or so than usual, which rocks and makes me all happy. Business feels like it's ready for me to pick it up a little bit, just in a cyclical way, it feels like I need to bump it up a notch and I think I need a little bit of a kick in the ass to do so. A bunch of stuff I want to put up on my website, I'm trying to knock together a business plan (gasp!) for the first time ever because it feels like it would help keep me organized. Also, some of you may know that I decided to do an initial meeting with a very very expensive business coach and I'm still not sure that he's the right person for me to be working with. I want to meet with a bunch of other business/life coach people and find out if there's someone I'd like to work with more. I can't decide if I'm intimidated by him or not (which would make any time spent with him useless unless I was able to get over it, which might be a useful exercise in and of itself), and I think his rates may be extortionist, though if he can help me it becomes a good investment rather than extortion. If you know any coaches you think I'd like, let me know, because I very much want to shop around.
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I went to my grandfather's memorial service this past Sunday out in Chicago at the university chapel. We had many concerns about who would show up, whether anyone would get punched, etc. As it was, I had a blast, actually. Is that a bad thing to say about your last surviving grandparent's memorial service? It was really fun! During the service I cried some, mourning the loss of a very cool man and scientist, and also with boredom at his colleagues who basically took the opportunity to spend five minutes giving an oral CV for a dead man. A new rule for memorial services: the word "pancreas" should never be mentioned more than once. An old rule for memorial services that still stands the test of time: academics should get 4 minutes or less to speak about their lost colleague.
The fun part was after the service, when the food and the wine was going, and everyone stood around talking with each other. A warning: If you are someone who compartmentalizes your life beyond a certain level, people will sift through all the clues to figure you out at your funeral. You may not mind this, being dead, but don't think people won't compare notes.
Things I discovered, in no particular order:
-My grandfather only had 2 students whose academic fate he was officially responsible for in a 40+ year career. This is apparently remarkable.
-My grandfather liked to go drink cheap beer and eat greasy food at a bar next door to the university dialysis clinic for the irony, as well as to be hard-core and cheapskatey.
-He greased down his hair because he hated having curly/wavy hair (much as I do) and people in his lab would refer to the greasy stain left on a wall or chair to be a "Paul-print".
-His one expressed wish for his memorial service was that "Thus Spake Zarathustra" be played at it.
-For a wedding gift for one of his grad students, he gave them a pirated, unlabelled porn video. He shoved it in the bride's hands, said "It's a classic." and never said anything about it again.
-naked baby-butt-bathing pictures were taken in 1916.
-I look like my great-grandfather, only less buff and without a late-19th-century center part.
-My grandfather was proud of me and loved me.
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If anybody has been wondering why they have not been able to get ahold of me, why I have not been returning calls, etc, you should know it is because the significant other has been seriously and scarily ill all week. He spent Wednesday-Sunday at the med center because of a foot infection/fever. If you want to know how he got the infection, and no, it is NOT catching, then know that about 10 years ago he had a nasty jungle-foot-rot situation and it was misdiagnosed and allowed to take over the world, or at least damage the lymph system in his foot so that if the skin on his foot breaks, he is likely to get infection from a weakened immune system. Yes, this is all very exciting. But mostly, I'm just tired of explaining it to everyone.
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How many people were reading my journal when I was talking about getting the HTML book to learn how to edit my own fucken website? Anyway, I am working on day 5, which is learning how to use links. So you all will suffer the wrath of my learning.
Eh. Fuck learning. I just hit a concept in the book that is the first one, I swear, that she does not explain in a way that I can understand. If anyone wants to explain relative and absolute pathnames to me in terms I will understand, be my guest. There may be fabulous prizes!
In other news I baked rye bread tonight but it came out more crumby than I wanted or expected it to. Phoo. But it still tastes great with good butter. No sandwiches though I think. And anyway, I don't think I'll ever be able to bake rye bread the way I really want it to come out. My least favorite thing about living outside of the metro New York area. sigh...
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Today should have been a really terrible day. My housemate who I love moved out, I had to clean the kitchen and go to the farm to drop off compost and pick up fresh veggies, and the roof of our car got dented in by some young Malden hoodlums. But I had a really great day! mostly because I spent it with estherruth, who in spite of her unhappiness in my city made me happy all day. Also, the secret to cleaning the kitchen is *booty music*. Why didn't I discover this sooner? Lately, my aparntment has had some of the feeling of a bus station and has been approximately that clean and gezellig. It was satisfying to throw down the gauntlet of nesting a little bit. I hope to inspire others. I was also sort of thinking of it as the Megan Memorial Kitchen Cleaning, because (sniff!) she always liked it when the kitchen was clean... Also, the thing I did to my face is making me super-giddy (just check out my music selection)
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After a discombobulating summer, I very much want to kickstart my massage practice and jump back in. I need to have people to work on and get back into shape and into practice, and I also need feedback on the things that people do and don't like so I can keep in touch with what my practice is about and what I need to work harder at. I'm looking for people who have maybe considered coming to see me for massage, or who have been curious about massage (i.e. potential clients), to volunteer to let me work on them in exchange for filling out a client feedback form that can be done in their name or anonymously. Feel free to email this out to whomever you'd like if you think they'd be interested. I'm doing this on a first-come first-serve basis, so here are the times that are still available:

Monday September 5th (yes, labor day)
3:30 pm
5:00 pm

Thursday September 8th
2:30
4:00
5:30
7:30

Please email me or call if you'd like to book one of these times
abilouise@hotmail.com
617-797-6995
www.abiharper.com
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And I only know that because I had an abdominal ultrasound today, which measured on the medical procedure scale of 1 to medieval is a .5, because while it is somewhat poky and goopy, was actually fun and educational. I got to see all my organs and several blood vessels (actively pumping!), which was really fun, and I got to give out business cards to the technicians. It almost makes up for eating a fat-free dinner last night, which was seriously traumatic.
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oh fine, I realize that I need to do Jake too, because his are so much better.

Jake is the cutest!

Jake is actually Jamacian ginger extract, marketed and sold as a medicinal tonic for any number of ills.

At its core, jake is a reference source, ie data (or, well, "metadata", if you must :)

Because jake is a free software project, no one technically "owns" it.

Even though Jake is far from Christ-like...

Jake is 12 years old.

Jake is on the right path.

Jake is impotent after being wounded in the war...

Jake is looking at the burn mark on his hand

Jake is about as bad as they come
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I love this meme, especially because my name is apparently an acronym for something technical. Anyway, go to google and type in " is" and paste in the first ten things that come up.

Abi is in black top, short leather skirt and high heels

The most important part of a system's ABI is the set of interfaces

The 64-bit V9 ABI is available on Solaris 2.7 and up and GNU/Linux.

ABI IS WALLI'S LAYDEE

However, it is the case that a detailed knowledge of the entire ABI is rarely necessary to accomplish most programming tasks.

W32/Sdbot-ABI is a network worm with backdoor Trojan functionality for the Windows
platform.

The primary goal of the ABI is to provide educators, administrators and other education professionals ongoing professional development and support to enable schools to create positive teaching and learning environments for all teachers and students.

ABI is ‘Acquired brain injury’
(I can't resist pasting two from this page)
Similarly, ABI isn’t the same as intellectual disability, although it may affect intellectual ability in various ways.

Therefore, ABI is a non-invasive method to assess the patency of the lower extremity arterial system and to detect the presence of arterial occlusive disease.

Hopefully you will never need it but if bankruptcy is the topic, ABI is the
resource
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I am finally writing up my trip to Holland. This is an incoherent and non-linear first draft. But it's weird, I'm having trouble knowing what to say about it. I flew on a plane and then spent a week somewhere that reminded me of a home that I've never lived in. Which is to say that I think I could live in Holland, though probably not Amsterdam. In Amsterdam I kept looking for the neighborhood where the cool people that I would find interesting would live, and I couldn't find them anywhere. But I'm getting ahead of myself. I went to Utrecht first. As an aside, I should mention that I took these homeopathic anti-jet-lag pills and I had little to no jet lag compared to my trip to France last year.
Utrecht was cute but not in an oppressive way. It also felt functional, and not like it only continued to exist for my tourist dollars. In Utrecht I spent an inordinate amount of time walking through the largest mall in Holland, which is bigger than either Quakerbridge Mall or the Cambridgeside Galleria but smaller than the Bridgewater Mall and bigger than the Bridgewater-Raritan High School marching band. Anyway, it was attached to the train station and the city center was on the other side of it. While inside one day killing time I tried on a 200 euro sweater and had a glimpse of how fabulous I'd look if I had that kind of money to spend on clothing. But no, I did not spend very much of my vacation shopping in a mall. I did things like climb the cathedral tower and crap like that too. Sat in cafes on canals etc. Most of my time in Utrecht was one day while Jake was at his conference and I wandered around amusing myself and trying to see how much Dutch I could parse based on my scanty German. By the end of my trip my reading comprehension was high enough that I could handle a menu with grace and ease but couldn't understand most of what people said and was still too embarrassed to try to pronounce anything myself. That trip to France last year? The emotional scars run deeper.
The best thing about Holland was renting bikes and biking through the countryside with Jake. Biking in Holland is not all about having a skillion gears and huffing up a hill and coasting down it the way it is here. It is also not all about having your road face on and smashing car windows with your bike lock when they cut you off, or standing in the street yelling at a car that you had a green light. Biking in Holland for me at least was biking on a heavy one-speed with backpedal brakes that freaked me out at first because I hadn't used them for so long and I couldn't freely rotate the pedals at traffic lights to be in an optimal position. The bikes did have nice racks (nice rack!) on them so that I could take off my bag and smush it under rubber bungee cords and not have a sweaty back (bonus!). It took me a while to get used to the pedal-slowly-to-and-fro rhythm that was appropriate, and also to let my road face melt away. I discovered that not only did I have a road face, but I also have road shoulders and road arms and that road = tense and pissed off. It was a very specific and personal heaven to be biking long distances on flat dedicated bike paths through beautiful farmland and national parkland and suburbs and along highways that are by American standards quaint. Jake was riding next to me and we were talking. We averaged about 40 km a day biking (of the 3 days we biked) and it was just awesome and made me feel physically robust and got me back into riding my bike here now that I'm back. We alternately daydreamed about coming back for a longer trip and just biking around Holland and seeing the country and reminded ourselves that we were doing that right then and should just pay attention and stop thinking so hard. Pedal pedal pedal. The rest of the trip was Amsterdam.
I wanted to like Amsterdam, I really did. But I have to say that my favorite part of the stay was the magnificent breakfasts our hotelier provided for us every morning we were there that were unspeakably good. I also dug the canals and was frustrated that I didn't get to either the VanGogh museum or the Anne Frank house.
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Tonight I felt super-weak at yoga class, couldn't do anything, even stuff I can normally do. Just felt really tired. Didn't feel like I got to spend enough time in the restorative poses. So I lay down and just spent the last 20 minutes of class in corpse pose, the lying flat on your back with your limbs comfortably hanging outwards. It felt good. Really good. And somewhere in there I zoned out completely and when I woke up I was actually finally hit by grief for my grandfather and the inspiration that what I should do is buy a bottle of his favorite christmas present (laphroaig scotch whisky) and drink and think about him and read the his oral history in the Department of Energy online archives http://www.eh.doe.gov/ohre/roadmap/histories/0472/0472toc.html
not that I expect anyone to be interested in reading the whole fucking thing
I feel tired. I feel poor, having bought a $54 bottle of alcohol, even though it is a loving memorial and it wouldn't have been the same if I'd bought something cheaper that was less iconic. My dad has been forwarding me emails from my aunt, who, being the person who still lives in the house and stuff is closest to the action and is also official family tall-tale-teller and utterly paranoid, has been in her own way, making things more real to me, though she doesn't know it. This is the first time a relative of mine has died and people have told me what was going on and stuff and I've been old enough to get it.
abilouise: (stretch)
My grandfathe died this morning.
And in other news, while I was away, my computer has lost its will to do anything but scream at me. Anyone out there have any ideas how to make it stop? If someone can either make my computer work or tell me definitively that it is broken and I should try to find a new one I can afford (HA!), then I would be willing to trade that service for massage with the right person.
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Oh! And also, meme passed to me by miwolf.


Pick 10 fictional characters you'd have sex with and then tag 5 friends.

I did this in no particular order, and it's very incomplete and off-the-cuff. I was mostly trying for assortment, but I refuse to stand by these choices in a week.

1. Hamlet
At least, he was my first serious literary crush, back in 10th grade. The first obvious choice, though obviously not the best one. Also, not if he's being played by anyone stuffy. Think a more young, batshit, punk-rock Hamlet, ok? No Lawrence Olivier crap. Like, if Hamlet was played by iggy pop, only less coked-out.

2. Boomer Petway
from skinny legs and all, you know? There's a category of boys who challenge me in a particular way that is compelling, and he fits into it.

3. Hermione (I mean past the age of statutory rape, you sicko). Those bookish girls are all compelling...

4. Max, from Rushmore. This should be obvious.

5. Han Solo (duh!)

6. Yod from He, She, It, by Marge Piercy

7. the characters played by Paul Mercurio in both Strictly Ballroom and Exit to Eden, because he is so dreamy.

8. Dana Delany's character from same, because she, also, is dreamy.

9. whassisname, Scott Bakula from Quantum Leap. Only the fictional character, I mean.

10. Steve, Miranda's boyfriend from Sex in the City

There. Now aren't you sorry you asked?

I chose... danamae, boojum, luckylefty, brynndragon, and uh, crs
MWA HA HA!
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I haven't written anything here for a while. But there are a lot of things I haven't done for a while. Been in this weird holding pattern, I think partially due to the fact that it's suddenly so hot out and I just can't imagine that it will be like this for the next two months. "It must just be a heat-wave," I tell myself,"I can surely wait it out."
But this is denial and problematic. I'm blowing through all my "it's fuckin hot out" clothes much too early this year. I shouldn't be staggering around the house in this dress that is practically a muumuu ala Mrs. Roper until August or something. Also, I picked an inopportune time to grow out my thick dark hair. I may shave it off yet.
My life is full of little details, little appointments, with very little in the way of things that take up big chunks of time. This is also why I make less money than the rest of you. But it's being tiring right now. Go here, go there, make sure you deal with your certification and bring a photocopy of your liability insurance when you go to this other place. It's discouraging that the person who has the practice that I want has been practicing massage FOR AS LONG AS I HAVE BEEN ALIVE.
I know most people have it worse than me, work-wise, but on days like this, I want an air-conditioned office that I can go to, put in a full day's work, and get paid a living wage, even if it's boring or sucks a little. No working weekends, two-hour shifts, dashing to my office in Central for an appointment here, an appointment there. Oh. I also want all my clothes to be in the same room so that getting dressed is easier in the morning. And I want to get rid of a buncha clothes that I don't like/am tired of/may never have actually worn.
I spend a lot of my time wandering around, both physically and intellectually. This is an advantage at parties sometimes, but mostly makes me feel stressed out in spite of having accomplished nothing, and intellectually isolated because I don't know anyone else who can/wants to talk about Irma Rombauer Becker's relationship with her mother or the potential dangers of single-layer suturing in C-sections.
An example of being stressed out and yet accomplishing nothing: Today I went on a field trip to Building 19 in Lynn, because it is geographically closest to me, and was planning to look around in general and was mostly looking for 100% cotton pillowcases that aren't flannel, and a few things on the household kitchen wish-list. I systematically wandered through the whole place and found nothing that I wanted enough to plunk down money on. Then I realized that I'd left my wallet in the car anyway. I spent all day looking at discount crap and achieved nothing other than the observation that I have never seen a full-price golf coffeetable book and that during my visit to Lynn, I did NOT, in fact, get out the way I went in.

Good things in my life, to put some positive content in this entry:
I am on call for a birth and that is exciting, HOLY CRAP AS I WAS TYPING THAT SHE CALLED IN LABOR though I worry that I will get the call sometime when I've had three hours of sleep and stink to high heaven and am very inconveniently located. I also worry that I will fuck something up, but that is a different story entirely and I don't take that worry as seriously. (FWIW, I DO stink to high heaven, but I have time to take a shower and stuff.) Which means taking a shower now and ending this whiny-ass entry. So long, suckers!
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As it starts to get warm out, I start to think I should have a life outside of work and home. I love work and I love home, but home will be changing soon, with important people leaving come september. I know that isn't THAT soon, but it still feels sort of like divorce to be losing a housemate that is so much fun and so great. In September it'll be me and Jake and Ethan, starting over with new people once again. I'm tired of finding new people to live with. I'm far too delicate for this sort of thing. I want to live with people who won't go away and who will be that easy and fun to live with.
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I've been meaning to write this entry for a while. For those of you who don't know, I was a Ward 5 Somerville delegate to the State Dems Convention this year. Some high points: Hearing some of the finest politicians in the game speak to a sympathetic crowd, where they could be a little more relaxed and specific and make jokes about our governor. I got to shake Teddy Kennedy's hand, even though some other guy decided that was the time to start jawing away at him so I couldn't say anything, but just got to mutely shake his hand like an idiot. Also got to shake Capuano's hand, my former mayor and current state rep, who is awesome in an old-school sort of way. The low point: seeing democracy given a very cold shaft by the state democratic party officials while above on the dais, Howard Dean spoke about how we need to work at a grassroots level for relevance. The high-after-the-low points: Getting to be part of the rowdy, scrappy 2nd Middlesex delegation, yelling "BOO! WE WANT NEW LEADERS!" was exhilerating and fun, and realizing that my husband is awesome and one of my heroes. I don't want to write out the events, so here is his version, for those who want to read it.

As long as I'm sitting by the side of the road here waiting for AAA, I
might as well get a report written up so everybody can know what
happened at the convention. By the way: Marty Martinez totally has me
& Abi's votes since he's the sort of person who'll pull off the road
to help you in your time of need (also Fred Berman, but he's not
running for anything :-).

Anyway... we found ourselves with an unexpected tough battle on our
hands today, as there were a number of odious changes to the party
charter that were proposed by the State Committee, hidden amongst the
innocuous ones. Some of us started talking about it this morning,
being concerned that everything would simply get voted in by people
who had no idea what was in there. Frankly, this took all of us
sleeping, despite the fact that some people had noticed it well in
advance, and next year we need to organize to deal with whatever new
bullshit the State Committee is going to throw at us. We lost the
battle today, but I think the party leadership looked really bad and
fascist, and I think a lot of people saw that clearly today.

We ended up targetting a few of the most odious amendments to the
party charter:
- Supermajority resolutions, making things like the scorecard much
harder to pass.
- The Vinnie Ciampa clause, allowing the party leadership to oppose an
unexpected winner like Carl in the general election.
- No Accountability clause, which frees the State Committee from
responsibility to obey resolutions at conventions, or even the party
charter.
- Secret meetings, barring the public from drafting meetings, along
with anything else the Committee feels like going to executive
session for.
- "We control Democratic" clause, requiring organizations calling
themselves "democratic" to be approved by the State Committee

First, a big thanks to all of the people who worked hard, at the drop
of a hat, and in the midst of great confusion. I felt really proud of
PDS today, and happy to be part of an organization capable of
mobilizing at the drop of a hat for something like this. It was also
really good to see all of the other people not affilited with us who
worked with us on this, and who I think we worked quite well with,
particularly the Cambridge folks and the DFA folks.


So here's what went down, play by play:

We spent a while this morning figuring out what our options in
opposing the odious amendments were, and got help from a lot of
experienced folks as well as sympathetic elected representatives.

Once we'd figured that out, we went to the Sargeant at Arms to submit
a Motion to Divide each of the odious amendments for separate
consideration. He took our motion into the closed back room for
discussion, and came back to tell us it was out of order. We kept
asking questions, and eventually we were ruled in order since they
couldn't confuse us into leaving, and Roberts Rules were on our side.

We then tried to find out when we could sign up to speak on the
amendment, and were told they didn't know, and that it would be
announced sometime. We'd brought about a dozen people down by this
time, all wanting to do something about the problem, and they were
getting edgy and kept telling us to clear out and return to our seats.
Eventually they told us it would be happening in "ten minutes" when
speeches stopped and the Chair called for people to sign up.

At this point, a contingent headed out to start creating a buzz and
getting other delegates riled up about the amendments, while some of
us remained down front waiting to sign up to discuss the amendment.
During lunch we discovered that they'd surreptitiously put out the
paper, and people started signing up to talk about particular
sections.

Finally, after all other convention "business" was completed, the
Chair brought up the charter amendments and then willfully
misinterpreted our motion, saying, "Jacob Beal has moved to divide the
amendment so every point is voted on separately, which will keep you
all here another two hours." and proceeded to ask if people wanted to
stay another two hours, which of course the delegates did not. Our
objections were not heard.

He then simply omitted debate and called the question, over our
objections. The voice vote was unclear, though he tried to call it
for the Ayes and was shouted down from the floor. The Chair then did
a most unusual voting procedure, when he had people stand up for Aye,
then stand up for Nay, ignoring the confusion, the people who were in
the aisles who he could count however he wanted, and the people
(including Somerville) who were up in the bleachers and invisible in
the poor lighting.

Brian Young, from Cambridge, had the microphone and called for a roll
call vote, which the chair summarily deemed unnecessary, reading out
selecting excerpts from the rules, then when pressed put it to a voice
vote and called it for the Ayes.

The convention hall was not happy with the Chair, by and large, and
there was a lot of loud booing, calls for change of leadership, and
general rowdiness and discontent --- and not just from us. They got
their changes passed, and prevented us from speaking formally, but I
think they ended up looking really bad to a lot of Massachusetts
Democrats.

Thanks,
-Jake
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