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19 July 2005 00:44![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
abilouiseTonight I felt super-weak at yoga class, couldn't do anything, even stuff I can normally do. Just felt really tired. Didn't feel like I got to spend enough time in the restorative poses. So I lay down and just spent the last 20 minutes of class in corpse pose, the lying flat on your back with your limbs comfortably hanging outwards. It felt good. Really good. And somewhere in there I zoned out completely and when I woke up I was actually finally hit by grief for my grandfather and the inspiration that what I should do is buy a bottle of his favorite christmas present (laphroaig scotch whisky) and drink and think about him and read the his oral history in the Department of Energy online archives http://www.eh.doe.gov/ohre/roadmap/histories/0472/0472toc.html
not that I expect anyone to be interested in reading the whole fucking thing
I feel tired. I feel poor, having bought a $54 bottle of alcohol, even though it is a loving memorial and it wouldn't have been the same if I'd bought something cheaper that was less iconic. My dad has been forwarding me emails from my aunt, who, being the person who still lives in the house and stuff is closest to the action and is also official family tall-tale-teller and utterly paranoid, has been in her own way, making things more real to me, though she doesn't know it. This is the first time a relative of mine has died and people have told me what was going on and stuff and I've been old enough to get it.
not that I expect anyone to be interested in reading the whole fucking thing
I feel tired. I feel poor, having bought a $54 bottle of alcohol, even though it is a loving memorial and it wouldn't have been the same if I'd bought something cheaper that was less iconic. My dad has been forwarding me emails from my aunt, who, being the person who still lives in the house and stuff is closest to the action and is also official family tall-tale-teller and utterly paranoid, has been in her own way, making things more real to me, though she doesn't know it. This is the first time a relative of mine has died and people have told me what was going on and stuff and I've been old enough to get it.
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no subject
Date: 19 Jul 2005 05:28 (UTC)It'll come and go, at weird times and times that make sense... I guess my best advice would be to let it wash over you like a wave when it comes, and to let it come when it will.
*hugs* Be well! (and I hope I wasn't the cause of you being tired!)
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Date: 19 Jul 2005 17:12 (UTC)no subject
Date: 19 Jul 2005 13:22 (UTC)I'm glad you're finding a way to greive.